Build your own social support network

A social support network is a group of people you can count on to support you. They may be the first person you call when something upsetting happens, when you have a difficult decision, or when you have great news to share. Some people in your social support network may be professionals who support you in very specific ways (such as your family doctor or life coach), and others in your network you may live with or be in contact with every day.

First, let’s talk about why social support is important and why your self-care matters. Research has shown that a lack of social support (isolation) can contribute to a constant state of chronic stress, which will negatively affect your immune system and put you at risk for serious illnesses.

Now, what can strengthening your social support network do for you? Social support can improve the functioning of your immune system, protect you from disease, and can increase your vitality, reduce your stress, and improve your self-esteem.

What makes a solid social support network?

Strength – Make sure you don’t rely on one or two people to provide all the support you need. This can be difficult for them and for you (if suddenly they can’t be there for you). Communicate regularly with several people.

Diverse – Likewise, having many people in your support network gives you access to their different skills, perspectives, and experiences.

Common Ground – If you are dealing with a particularly difficult challenge or have a very specific goal, finding and interacting with others regularly in the ‘same boat’ can have very beneficial results. Whether it’s discovering how others handle a situation, or sharing some of your experience, groups like this can be a huge boost to your self-care program.

Something to reach for – Make a point of building or strengthening your relationships with people who inspire, encourage and support you, and who enable you to grow and be your best self. For example, someone who is very committed to their own self-care will inspire you to make positive self-care choices. And someone who is really loving and supportive will help you feel good about yourself.

5 ways to fuel your support network

1. Call or write when things are good as well as when they are not. Sharing your gratitude and appreciation can help deepen your relationships and intensify your good feelings.

2. Be open to new people. You never know when someone new will come into your life or what unique gifts they will bring. I think sometimes we’re meant to only connect with certain people for a little while — so instead of thinking, “I don’t have time for a new friend,” go with your heart and be curious about what you can learn from interacting with that person.

3. Offer to help. Whether it’s people you know or people you haven’t met yet (ie through a volunteer job), helping others can be a great boost to your self-care. And remember, your self-care still comes first!

4. Live by the Four Agreements, as created by Don Miguel Ruiz – Be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions and always do your best.

5. If you don’t want to talk to anyone, talk to someone. Sometimes we choose to be isolated. It can be really hard to communicate when we’re feeling this way. Do it anyway.

It is important to remember that your social relationships can also have a negative impact on your self-care. Unspoken facts, casual sabotage, or taking on the role of caregiver can all add stress and affect your commitment to self-care.

So instead, nurture your positive relationships and keep your social support network strong and working for you.